Last month, we got familiar with all the reasons why a first look is a fantastic idea (and still is, always is!). Today, though, we’re going to rewind a little bit and uncover more about its origins, because a first look is still a pretty modern practice. For as long as weddings have existed, ‘tradition’ has held that the bride and groom do not see each other prior to their ceremony. The original first look happened when the bride walked down the aisle, joining her soon-to-be spouse at the altar. Of course, so many customs and rites of passage have evolved, grown, and matured over hundreds (if not thousands) of years, including the very rigid construct of marriage and forever partnership, altogether, which only started getting more flexible over the last 10, maybe 15 years. A man and a woman exchanging vows is just one of many different types of unions possible today, and by no means is it the standard. So, while there are lots of things to love about tradition, we love tweaks to the script even more!
It’s bad luck if the groom sees his bride before the wedding. We’ve seen this trope play out any and everywhere, from our most-loved movies to our most-loved TV shows, to the point that it’s just been accepted as truth. Here’s where things get a little icky, though, because that bad juju and irrational fear goes all the way back to a time when arranged marriages were the norm. Parents would set up their sons and daughters and engage in transactions that would prove fortuitous to each of their families. But since the ‘deals’ could only be sealed at the completion of the wedding ceremony, fathers would essentially sweat it out until their daughters were officially married off. Couples were kept separate for as long as humanly possible, so that the groom wouldn’t see his soon-to-be wife too prematurely and get ‘scared off’ by what she looked like. The thinking there was that by the time the groom saw his bride, her veil finally lifted from her face, it would be too late to call off the wedding. Game over, ladies and gents, the couple is married, the business has been settled, and now two families are richer, indeed.
To quote one of our faves, Stevie Wonder, “When you believe in things that you don’t understand, then you suffer, superstition ain’t the way!” Truer words have never been spoken, especially when it comes to traditions as distasteful as the arranged marriage, spousal-separation-to-ensure-the-success-of-the-sale setup. Thankfully, we’re very far removed from those early, hardly PC days; and now, the tradition has softened to be more about a groom seeing a bride in her dress than seeing her in general (the arranged situation isn’t one we’re familiar with anymore, thank goodness!).
And we can absolutely understand if a bride wants to keep the anticipation building by having a first look that takes place on the aisle. That said, we’re also big fans of first looks happening well before the wedding ceremony, when you can show off your dress, your suit, your tux, or even just yourself – with or without makeup, hair up or down, just in pjs or just in your last-morning-as-a-fiancée fashion – share love notes, take a stroll or take a spin as just the two of you.
It’s an experience curated by you and your photographer and/or videographer, alone, so don’t feel beholden to any rules or red tape other than making the moment uniquely yours.
If you’re looking to bring some props to your first look photo session, take a peek at our Shop. You’ll want to keep things simple and low-touch, since your love will inevitably light up the whole shot; rest assured, these Style Me Pretty picks just enhance, they won’t steal the spotlight!
To a shared outdoor space, be it a courtyard or a hidden alcove
To hang overhead or [gorgeously] fill some space in your botanical backdrop
To sit for a few minutes and enjoy each other’s company before the calm subsides and the ceremony begins. Consider this an al fresco preview of your sweetheart table.
To anchor your walk down the aisle and remind everyone how special a day this is