We won’t sugar coat it, weddings are gorgeous, they inspire us, they set our hearts on fire, but they’re also a whole lot of work. That’s precisely why you so often hear people say “make sure you soak up every bit of your ‘we just got engaged!’ excitement.” You’ll want to hold onto that cloud 9 high for as long as you can, because once “I Do” decision making kicks in, it can be pretty all-consuming. We chatted with former brides who recently traded their fiancée-ship for full-time wifey wings, and got some really honest feedback about wedding planning: the good, the bad, the happy and sad, and we wanted to share, because not so long ago, these ladies were figuring it all out, too.
We know it hasn’t been a great year – in fact, it’s been pretty awful – but 2021 is just around the corner. If you need some extra help ‘figuring it out,’ you can find answers to all of your nuptials questions in our Ultimate Planning Guides! These digital downloads include inspiring images, wow-worthy designs, detailed timelines, and even advice from previous brides (notice a theme here?)! We’ve enlisted the help of our amazing community of Little Black Book vendors to create these educational, step-by-step wedding blueprints and we couldn’t be more excited that they’re now finally available for you to purchase.
When the decisions have been made, when your vision has been decided upon, when you have guided your wedding style to perfection… the curse of *buyer’s remorse* just might set in. After all, the constant influx of eye candy found simply by turning on your computer can be intoxicating and wildly addicting. But this, my lovelies, is the moment that really counts. This is the moment where you learn to trust yourself and your vision, where you go forth knowing that you are well equipped to not only plan a wedding… but to plan one with grace, with substance, and with adoration and respect for all things uniquely you. Print out those inspiration boards and hang them on your wall, keep the swatches of fabric that you carefully selected nearby. And plant a big fat reminder smooch on the one you love. Because it’s in that very kiss where you will always find what’s most important. ~ Abby
Our founder, Abby, says it best. You really can’t start planning a wedding before remembering that this day is about you two, first and foremost. Every detail should be stamped with the love you share.
One of the first things I ever got once I had my ring was my wedding planning binder and a HUGE blush pink and champagne-colored floral memory box from Michaels. I couldn’t wait to start filling up the pages and the box with everything that touched my wedding in some way. Truthfully, in the two years that I planned my wedding, if I was asked that age-old question of ‘if your house was on fire and you needed to save one thing, what would it be?’ I would have said “my wedding binder+box,” and that’s without hesitation. Everything stored inside was a relic of my relationship with my groom and our future special day. And I protected it fiercely! ~ Stephanie
Millennial brides, you might be a few decades older than your Trapper Keeper-loving selves , but you can still get down with a life-aligning binder of sorts (especially one emblazoned with your new soon-to-be last name). If it means keeping tabs – literally – on your wedding and everything that goes along with it.
This proud-to-be-a-bride portfolio will be your lifeblood throughout your engagement, where you can document all of your v. important things, from venue one-sheets to first impression notes on your vendors, contact information for everyone in your “I Do” dream team (wedding talent and bride tribe peeps) to calendar benchmarks for all the big deal days along the way. Show off that you’ve officially entered #weddingplanningmode by whipping out your binder and sprawling all of your novelty stickers out on the table. Caption your Gram post with your wedding date and a 🥂 emoji and live in this milestone for a minute. Ours has a 12-month calendar, a budget tracker, and ALL of the worksheets to write down everything about everyone (photo and music worksheets, dress and salon worksheets, cake and flower worksheets and rental worksheets, etc.). It’s so pretty, too, definitely something that has pass-down, heirloom potential.
I think one of the things I did, which probably wasn’t helpful, was that I kept expecting things to be a nightmare. It’s wedding planning, it HAS to be hard, right? Well, that’s not always true – sometimes you DO catch a break, sometimes you do have some down time to stop worrying and start chilling out. I tried to make things harder than they had to be, and should have lived moreso by the motto of ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!’
Meanwhile, when things were hard, I definitely leaned on my fiancé for support. He kind of helped me to realize that mini meltdowns are going to happen, so don’t try to hush them. Have your cry in the shower, scream into a pillow, let tears stream on your way into work, but once you’ve gotten it out. Once you’ve purged all of that emotion, move on and move forward. ~ Slava
No matter how the tears are rolling 😢😭😂, if you’re the one getting married, cry as much as you have to, but make it #bridalbawling. A cute stash of mini tissues, like these watercolor floral ones, are a great bag add!
Also, don’t establish lax lines of communication early on, because it’ll come back to bite you. Our photographer wanted to start a dialogue with us well before the wedding, would email a lot and ask for feedback – and we kind of dropped the ball and let weeks / months go by without responding. Well, when it came time for our wedding, and we had questions/requests about the shot list, we couldn’t really get ahold of him. He was kind of MIA, but we were at fault, because at the outset we set up a seemingly ‘blasé’ way of back-and-forth. It definitely backfired. ~ Kim
Use that binder of yours for one! But also, make sure you use your consultations and vendor sessions as a sounding board. Talk about how you envision your wedding day, for sure, but also discuss ways that you’ll work together and collaboratively. Does email work better? Are texts during the day more your style? How about phone calls, are late-night calls a big oh-no-no? Get into a rhythm with your vendors as quickly as possible, so that you can avoid any pitfalls later. Communication is everything, it always has been, but this year made that fact crystal clear: a global pandemic completely changed the wedding planning game.
Deciding to postpone a day you’ve spent an infinite amount of time planning is pretty huge – so, it’s reasonable to want to put a pin in things and relax when you’ve handled all of the time-sensitive and imperative parts of your aisle adjournment. Definitely take a minute to regroup, but don’t retreat completely. Whether you’ll be keeping almost everything the same, just opting for a new day (that’s clear of coronavirus concerns) or scaling the size of your event down significantly (and embracing a more micro mood), you’ll still have to stay sharp and on your wedding planning game.
Keep your vendors in the loop on everything, transparency is key and your tying-the-knot team ultimately just wants to stay on the same page ON ALL THINGS. If you’ve signed or will be signing new contracts, make sure you save copies in your binder so you can cross reference quickly whenever you need!
With so many items on your wedding to-do list, it gets so easy to become completely consumed by the entire planning process. Making big vendor decisions over dinner, answering wedding-related emails before bed, and having that constant worry in the back of your mind that your wedding might need a course change (COVID made typical wedding planning stress even more tedious) – it’s truly so much to handle, even with help! My best piece of advice would be to prioritize date nights, maybe once a week, where you go out or stay in, and promise each other NOT to talk about the wedding. Give yourself that time to decompress with your soon-to-be spouse and truly remember what this whole marriage thing is all about – a celebration of your beautiful love! You’d be surprised how much even just a few hours a week devoted to doing anything but thinking about the wedding can do – for both you and your partner! ~ Lauren
You might very well say that date nights will ALWAYS have a place in your planner, but when you’re trying to tie the knot, intimacy can be killed (and it’s no one’s fault!). That’s why we’re such ardent supporters of regular “time outs” throughout the engagement process. Whether it’s brunching in bed one or two Saturdays a month, going out for dinner after every vendor appointment, or simply committing to a new Netflix binge with your boo before bed at night, you’ve got to do it. You’ve got to make time for each other, outside of your regularly-scheduled pre-wedding programming.
As we say that, we’re reminded that so many of us have been quarantining with our fiancé/fiancées for the greater part of the last nine months anyway, so if time outs are best to do separately, then that’s fine too! Just make a pact to come back to the planning table refreshed and raring to go when you need to. Sipping out of gold-accented champagne coupes with ‘bride’ and ‘groom’ inscriptions can only manifest good things to come. So, cheers to you guys and your titles for the next year (or two) and await the day you’ll be toasting with all of your bests as newlyweds.
One of my biggest wedding regrets was kind of forgetting about my wedding dress. I did the alterations, I transported it to my venue as delicately as possible, I had the perfect place to vignette my fashion for those getting-ready snaps, but I had NOTHING to hang my dress on. Huh?!?!! That’s right, I have an amazing picture of my fit-and-flare gown, in all its glory, hanging on a plastic hanger. That bad look, it’s forever burned in my brain, and it’s the worst! I really should have gotten one of those personalized hangers with my new last name, or at least a really pretty wooden or acrylic hanger to glam up the gown. But I didn’t. Sigh. ~ Danielle
Your dress isn’t the biggest part of your day, but it’s still super important. You’ve done your best to keep it protected, clean, primped and polished, so you’ll want to let it shine for all those detail shots.
Our simple wooden hangers aren’t overwhelming, they aren’t pretentious, they’re just really flippin’ cute, especially the silhouetted white dress! And even though he won’t be getting ready with a whole lot of fanfare, he still deserves to have his suite feel special. His entourage is high key important, too. Really, they can hang…
Whatever keeps you smiling on your way to the aisle, girl, you do you. We’ll help as much as we can!
Shop the Style Me Pretty Collection exclusively on site right now! And top off your delicious day with photos that celebrate your unique, one-of-a-kind kind of love.
… They happen to look 👌 on single tier cakes, too… in case you have a micro wedding up your sleeve!