With everything that’s going on in the world right now, sometimes it helps to feel like you’re not alone. To all the brides out there who are thinking about or have already postponed their wedding due to COVID-19, take a deep breath – you’re doing amazing, and it’s all going to be okay. Today we’re sharing an interview with of our very own here at SMP, Meredith, who sadly needed to postpone her June wedding due to the virus. We hope hearing her story will help you in some way. Read on to find out how her experience has been and for some wise advice from her planner as well.
June 13, 2020 at Caswell Farm in Gray, Maine
We are having a pretty small wedding (under 100) and most of our guests are flying in from across the country, even internationally, and we knew that we did not want to ask people to travel during this time. We also did not want to miss out on having our absolute favorite people with us on such a special day. We decided that even though it’s so disappointing to change the date, we would rather change it and have all of our guests be able to make it.
When everything began unfolding here in the US, everything was already booked – photographer, videographer, venue, band, catering, florals, planner, hair and makeup, transportation for guests, etc. The design was already complete. We were working on just small details like day-of paper and ironing out the logistical details.
Two weeks ago when we first started discussing the Covid-19 impact on our wedding, my planner reminded me that this day is going to be a beautiful celebration of our love no matter the date and to have peace of mind going into the wedding knowing that our friends and family are healthy and able to celebrate with us. She reminded me that our friends and family will be so excited to come celebrate once this is all over and a rescheduled date won’t be seen as an inconvenience but rather a thoughtful decision to protect every guest. This made the postponing decision a no-brainer for my fiance and I.
Actually we are still going to get married! We are so excited to be getting married, so we will do a private ceremony. We are thinking something along the lines of an elopement in the mountains with just our family sounds perfect. Our postponement date will still be a full wedding ceremony and reception as planned, but we will move forward with marriage on our original date.
A sweet calligrapher and designer created an announcement for us to send to our guests. We wanted to let them know as soon as possible, so we sent via email and text so they would have time to cancel reservations, etc. Everyone has been beyond supportive and kind to us. Everyone is feeling anxious right now with everything that is going on, and they all shared the same sentiments that the celebration will be that much sweeter once all of this is behind us.
Our vendors have been unbelievable. I cannot thank my planner enough as she has been communicating so well with all of my vendors. Our photographer and videographers have reached out a few times on a personal level just to check in and see how we are doing. They feel like friends checking in. Our venue and catering team and have been so accommodating and even shifted things around on their end so that a new potential date would work for the fall. We are so thankful for our vendor team for being so helpful. I am not sure what I would have done without them, especially my planner.
Every single vendor is willing to apply our deposits to our new date, which is why we are doing the best we can to align all of our vendors with a new date. Thankfully airlines and airbnb are going to be crediting/refunding our guests. All in all, there has been very little financial impact to our budget, which we are so thankful for. We want to honor all of our contracts with our vendors, so the best way we can support them is to work together to find a day that still works for them. We did not get wedding insurance. We were planning on day-of insurance (per our venue), but we had not yet secured it.
I really don’t think so! I know that moving from a spring to fall wedding could pose a new set of design plans, but my color scheme should work well for fall as well. It’s possible that due to seasonality, our flowers will change slightly, but overall I feel lucky that this design plan should still work. We are doing a tented wedding, so we will have to incorporate heating in the tent for dinner and perhaps bundle up a bit during the dancing.
I would say it’s been challenging to find a date that lines up with all of our vendors only because there are so many and it’s late in the year to be booking a wedding. Our venue is booked for weekends in 2020, and our other vendors are as well. We decided to look into Mondays in September, as Mondays are not too popular for weddings :) but we will make it work! We have a spreadsheet of all of our vendors and they are weighing in on dates they can make it work. Our wedding is in Maine, and all of our vendors are in the New England area with the exception of our videographers, so that does make it a bit easier to coordinate. I know shortly we will land on a new date.
At first I was very sad and frustrated. I felt that all the hard work that we had put into our wedding with planning and logistics was lost. I was disappointed that my bachelorette trip to Austin was also canceled. It just felt like everything was falling apart hour by hour. I took a day to really feel the emotions of it all and to think deeply about what to do. Once I thought through everything, I felt much more calm. Since talking with my fiance, family, and planner, I feel so confident in the decision we made to postpone and a huge weight has lifted. Right now is a hard time for all of us in the world, and it felt uneasy for me to move forward with the planning knowing that there was a great chance the wedding would not take place in June. With a new date in the Fall I can relax and be more present in other areas of life that are needing attention right now. I feel so grateful for those who have been so supportive of us. I also feel that the small details of the wedding I was worried about before are not important. I still want it to be a beautiful day, and I know it will be, but the recent events have really helped put everything into perspective. Our wedding will be a celebration of our love, and I cannot wait to celebrate that with our friends and family when that day comes. I think the best thing that has come out of this experience is just the reminder that what truly matters is our love for one another and the safety and health of our loved ones. Our wedding WILL happen, it just will not be when we planned for it to be. I am very grateful to be reminded that I am marrying someone who is so supportive and a rock in times of uncertainty.
I would say that my best tip would be to breathe and take each day as it comes. As brides during this pandemic, it is very easy to let anxiety take over and become overwhelmed with all of the decisions that need to be made. I found that once the decision to change the date was made, I felt a huge sense of relief in knowing that the final planning and preparations wouldn’t have to be done during this stressful time. I suggest yoga, prayer, meditation, talking with trusted family and friends. I also suggest a heavy break from the news for a while to clear your head, a nice cup of tea, and cuddling with your puppy, fiance, or both :) It’s a great time to practice self-care, especially since we all have a bit more time at home these days!
I am just really excited to marry my fiance! I am also so excited for my family and friends to be able to all leave our homes and be together! Our family and friends are scattered all across the country and it’s been so long since we have seen so many. We were counting down until June to see them, and now it will just be a bit longer. The celebration of our wedding will be even more special now that we are all unable to see people. I think it will be such a good reminder to everyone in the world how important community is and how much we need one another. I am looking forward to life after the Covid-19 pandemic and all the good that will come from this.
We also asked Meredith’s planner, Lani Toscano, a few questions… here’s what she said:
We reached out to all of our clients and acknowledged that this was a time filled with unprecedented uncertainty. We clearly laid out for everyone what we were doing on our end and what they could do on their end. We posed several questions for them to think through so that they could begin to frame their decision making with facts rather than fear.
We wanted them to know that we were going to take a few days to dive into each one of their contracts and email their vendors. Our intent was to create a data sheet that explained deposit info – final payment info – cancelation policies and postponement policies. Our belief was that knowledge helps you gain some control back in a situation that feels completely out of control.
Once we emailed the documents – we also jumped on phone calls with all May – June clients and fielded calls from July and August clients who reached out to discuss options. Each call we have had has allowed us to help clients make sound decisions from rebooking to holding to the original date with an agreement to re-look at the situation in a week’s time.
Our goal was to provide support and guidance not fear or rash decisions – for some folks that meant revisiting the questions in three days’ time and for others it meant revisiting the questions in a week or two.
We can not communicate enough with our clients right now.
We breathe a lot. First we work with our clients to look at all the factors that go into a postponement – the financial ones – the emotional one and logistical ones. Then we involve the vendor community for their specific wedding. Vendors have been nothing but attentive, flexible and caring – it is clear that we are all focussed on a reschedule and not a cancelation. In some cases we have contemplated moving events to 2021 but as of yet have not had to do that.
I wanted Meredith and Carl to be excited for their wedding -filled with joy, anticipation and love not angst and concern. The more we talked it seemed that fending off anxiety was the best bet and moving the wedding was only logical. The next step was to preserve their investments to date, which meant working to have as many if not all of their current vendors involved in the new date. Meredith was amazing and she quickly understood that to do this we needed to utilize a weekday – a Sunday would have been ideal, but her wonderful venue has guests there still on Sundays – so Monday was the day. Vendors jumped at this and now we can move forward. I do believe that their guests will be supportive and will strive to make a Monday work to celebrate Meredith and Carl.
We are more than willing to move our deposits to a postponed wedding – there are two weekends this season we can not take on any other events but other than that we make most other weekends and certainly weekdays work for our team.
Photography: Lindsay Hackney