Today’s anni-sesh will warm your soul my friends. 35 years, thirty five. And yet, they’ve still got that newlywed glow about them, don’t they? I don’t doubt that Sveta and Dima have experienced their challenges in marriage, but they’ve clearly weathered any storms with grace—and these images from Anastasiia Krivenok are the proof. While my husband and I have only been together for 13 years, a mere third of the time these two have, I can say we’ve picked up a few pointers along the way on how to sustain a marriage that truly lasts; one that embraces the good and bad, and keeps your love glowing strong. Read below for a few personal tips!
I can’t quite remember where I recently read this, but it’s something my husband and I agreed was such a fantastic idea. The premise is to never stop dating—to prioritize time together. Every two weeks you go out on a date, every two months you go on a weekend adventure or getaway and every two years you go on a vacation (no kiddos allowed!). Now, I know what you’re probably thinking—this might not be feasible financially, or if you have very small babies, but the concept can easily be adjusted to your own lifestyle. For example, with recently starting a business, my husband and I aren’t in a place financially to hire a baby sitter every two weeks and go out to dinner, let alone take a weekend getaway every two months—but, we are dedicating two hours every week to ‘us’ time even if we can’t go out, we’ll have a movie night! And at least every two months we’ll plan to hire a sitter and go out to dinner. Regularly dedicating time for each other has had such a positive impact on our relationship.
Unless you’re the .05% of couples who are utterly perfect (truth: that doesn’t exist!), you’re going to have challenges. You may go through seasons of marriage where it feels like you’re on completely separate pages. During these times, it’s easy to point the finger, to place blame and to push one another further away. My husband and I have had a handful of these disconnected seasons in our 13 years, most times around big life events that shook us to the core (deployments, losing jobs, time away for work, becoming parents, etc.). But every single time, (and as cliche as it sounds) when the storm was over, we always came out better on the other side. As we’ve grown and become wiser, we’ve learned a few ways to weather these stormy seasons…
If you’re going through a particularly challenging season, a marriage counselor or therapist is hugely helpful and not something that should be surrounded with shame. It’s also not a “last resort”. Having done a couple months of counseling with my husband, we looked at it like taking a course for marriage! Those couples who can acknowledge their weaknesses and work on them, are usually stronger for it. There are also counselors out there who offer video appointments (which is what we did), making it easier if you have busy schedules.
Plain and simple. Never stop telling your partner exactly why you love them and how much you love them. Never stop wanting to see a smile on their face, never underestimate the power of a bathroom mirror post it note, a random Tuesday card, a 3-page long love letter.
Photographer: Anastasiia Krivenok | bouquet: buywifeflowers | film scan & develop: Carmencita Film Lab