Embrace the Challenging Seasons of Marriage

Unless you're the .05% of couples who are utterly perfect (truth: that doesn't exist!), you're going to have challenges. You may go through seasons of marriage where it feels like you're on completely separate pages. During these times, it's easy to point the finger, to place blame and to push one another further away. My husband and I have had a handful of these disconnected seasons in our 13 years, most times around big life events that shook us to the core (deployments, losing jobs, time away for work, becoming parents, etc.). But every single time, (and as cliche as it sounds) when the storm was over, we always came out better on the other side. As we've grown and become wiser, we've learned a few ways to weather these stormy seasons...

Always look within first and in turn, put one another first. This works every time.

When you find yourself putting blame on your partner or saying something negative, follow that up with a positive... even if it takes you a few days.

Empathize with your partner and validate their feelings.

Show appreciation, on. the. daily. I can't say this one enough.

Work on your effective listening. Let each other talk for 3-5 minutes without saying a word. It's transformative.

If you're going through a particularly challenging season, a marriage counselor or therapist is hugely helpful and not something that should be surrounded with shame. It's also not a "last resort". Having done a couple months of counseling with my husband, we looked at it like taking a course for marriage! Those couples who can acknowledge their weaknesses and work on them, are usually stronger for it. There are also counselors out there who offer video appointments (which is what we did), making it easier if you have busy schedules.