Ladies, beware of the bridesmaidzilla. Like Kristen Wiig and Rose Byrnes’ characters in “Bridesmaids,” bridesmaidzillas are pretty much every bride’s worst nightmare, taking the stress of planning a wedding and multiplying it times infinity. Whether you’re a first-time ‘maid, or a total pro, the trick to being the perfect bridesmaid is remembering these 15 rules!
Remember, this isn’t your day, it’s hers. That means that if she picks out a less-than-pretty bridesmaid’s dress, you put on a smile and zip it up. This is her chance to be in the spotlight, and one day, know that she’ll be returning the favor.
You know on “Say Yes to the Dress” when the bride is having her moment and the entourage says no, ruining her bridal dreams? Don’t be that person. Personal style is subjective. If she asks for your opinion, give it gently, but keep in mind that just because you hate lace, doesn’t mean that she does.
If she says she wants a low-key bachelorette party, don’t plan a boozy weekend in Las Vegas. Ask the bride what she has in mind for her shower and bachelorette party and let that guide the planning, but keep the details secret for an element of surprise!
Part of your duties as a bridesmaid includes making sure the bride has a great time at her bachelorette party, but the goal of the night shouldn’t be “how drunk can the bride get.” Make sure part of the festivities include getting food in everyone’s stomachs and pay attention to how much she’s had to drink. Want extra brownie points? Give her lots of water — she’ll thank you in the morning.
Weddings are a celebration, so inevitably the Champagne will be flowing from the time the bride says “yes” to the time she says “I do.” And while we’d never discourage you from sipping on some bubbly, keep in mind that it’s your friend’s big day and you want to be there and present for every moment of it.
Hopefully when you agreed to be a bridesmaid, you knew what you were signing up for. Respond to the bride’s emails, phone calls and texts within a timely manner, and make sure she knows that you’re there for her when she needs you.
Being a bridesmaid is expensive. From the bridesmaids dresses to the travel to the parties to the gifts — it adds up quickly. If you simply can’t afford to, that’s OK! Explain the situation to your friend and that you’ll still be there for her throughout the wedding planning process. But if you’ve already agreed to be a bridesmaid, don’t complain about the expenses.
This should be a no-brainer, but order the dress in the size you are, not the size you want to be. You can always take a dress in, but you can only let a dress out so much.
Yes, you and the bride are BFFs and she was the maid-of-honor in your wedding, but that doesn’t mean she has to name you as hers. Respect the bride’s decision and let her know how happy you are to be included in the big day. And hey, think of it this way, less work for you!
No one expects you to be besties with every woman in the bridal party, and if you and one of the other bridesmaids don’t want to hang out one-on-one, that’s fine. But don’t let your feelings towards one of them affect the bride. It’s one day — put on a smile and play nice.
We’re all busy, but if you signed up to be a bridesmaid, you signed up for all the fun of wedding planning. If you live out of town, no one expects you to fly in to help out with a DIY project, however, if you live nearby, try to be there for your friend every step of the way.
Remember when you were a child and your parents told you, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?” Well, that applies to weddings. Obviously, if your friend asks for your opinion, you should give it to her, but some things are better left unsaid.
Maybe it starts with comparing her ring to yours, or her choice of venue to your own, but comparing weddings is a slippery slope that will never end well. Your day was or will be perfect for you, just as hers is perfect for her.
A wedding is about the future, not the past, so this should go without saying, but don’t bring up any ex-boyfriends, no matter how long it’s been.
Wedding planning has a tendency to bring out the best and the worst of people. No one likes a bridezilla, but you have to remember that your friendship is infinitely more important than an ugly bridesmaid’s dress. Deep breaths and a little perspective will help you get through even the most trying moments.
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